Jet lag much worse today, spent most of the night with the shivers got up at 3am. It's like my body knows it can be ill now, safely back home with Tara. Sat down and admired the magical gift I received yesterday. I didn't actually get it yesterday, the parcel arrived while I was in England. My wonderful friends the Francis family, Bill, Jen, Jake and Brayan not forgetting Elvis the dog sent me the most beautiful medicine flute.
Later on, about 9am, me, boo and the flute took a stroll in the forest, only after taking copious amounts of flu remedies.  You can give a flute to a man but that doesn't mean he can play it. As I walked towards the hollow tree that I had recently discovered I played on the flute, correction, I made some interesting noises with the flute. Screechy ear piercing sounds echoed through the forest, animals scampered in every direction, Boo was somewhere off in the distance annoying some chipmunks. Finally I found a big old tree stump that was drenched in warm winter sunshine and sat down to play.
Up and down the scales, messing about with strange combinations trying to find the sweet spot that called to the energy of this place. Then there it was, a string of six deep bassy notes followed by two quick high notes. This short collection of notes seemed to get the spirits attention and I felt the hair rise on the back of my neck as the atmosphere changed around me. I could physically feel eyes staring at me. I stood, bowed my head and thanked the energies for acknowledging my call but i also knew that there has to be a reason to call and understood there would be different tunes for different needs. The tune I had played today was just to ask for access to their world.

 Back home after an emotionally harrowing two weeks. My Mother is finally put to rest, may the Gods bless her soul. Due to an eight hour time difference, I was wide awake at 4AM, by the the time first rays of light appeared on the horizon, I was out the door walking Boo.
I kept her on the leash, as we have some new people staying on site and didn't want her bounding over  to them, not very likely at this time in the morning. She hates being on the lead and was pulling like a Tasmanian Devil. When finally I could take no more and released her, she darted in to a nearby thicket from where a huge bull Elk stampeded out of the other side . The Elk charged past me careering through the dark forest, followed by Boo in hot pursuit.
So the Elk was being chased by Boo and I was chasing both of them trying to get control of the dog. They were both out of sight in no time and all I could do was follow the clatter and crash of snapping foliage. I ran like this for maybe ten minutes, then suddenly it all went deftly quiet, not a sound, complete silence. I called to Boo and whistled loudly, not a thing. It was then that I looked up and saw the most monolithic of trees. This tree was completely dead, it was burnt from the inside out and totally hollow, with an entrance facing me. I peered in and looked up to the grey morning sky, then down, a deep dark cavern of a hole, an entrance to another realm, a gateway.
I bowed my head to the spirits that dwelt there, I could feel them watching me. I knocked three times on the outside of the tree and asked to come back and journey at this place. A woodpecker tapped out a beat on the bark of an adjacent Douglas Fir. I took this as confirmation and planned to make a special visit to this place on my own, then continued my search for Boo.
After a good hour of calling and whistling I decided to head back to the house. I knew Tara would be pissed If I told her I had lost the dog but if she was meant to get lost it was just her orlog. For some reason I felt like the Elk had led me to the tree and that Boo would be OK. As I turned the corner where the house comes into view, there she was. Covered in crap and panting like a crazy thing. She sat up as if to say " Where have you been?"

Heading Home To Tara

I leave the UK, heading back to the sanctuary of the wilderness. In the depths of my despair great knowledge and wisdom, no not wisdom and knowledge a KNOWING came to me, something I should have recognized long ago. It is now time for me to step up to the plate and use the connection I have been blessed with, the primal magic that flows between my wife and me. The same magic that called me four and a half thousand miles across the world.
In the new year I will dive head first and return to my teaching path. If reading and healings come all the better but Odin has set me on a path to spread his word, to teach the runes in a way that can change lives and that is what I will do. I will use every gift given in every possible way.This is not a New Year's resolution, this is an oath I make for my Mother and never to be broken.
I was told the Gods were angry with me and I wondered what I had done to displease them but it was not what I had done, it was what I had not done. They, the God's had seen fit to present me with a sacred gift and I had chosen to let it lay idle. No more!

I was not going to blog today, as my mother passed away last night but I have just walked in the forest in the pouring rain and said prayers for her memory.
Yesterday after my first voice of Odin, blog radio, I was suddenly drained of all energy. It was like I had given two pints of blood. I got home struggled to get out the car and then collapsed into bed exhausted. In the early hours I had a vision dream.
Hella, the goddess of the underworld ( Half beautiful woman, half corpse} came to me and she spoke.
" Sometimes Odin uses your voice, sometimes he uses your body but tonight he took your energy and gifted to your father as he was in great need"
. I woke this morning with my energy returned, only to be bombarded with numerous messages telling me to call home (The UK). It was then when I heard the news that my mother had passed over.
So in this mornings rain storm I held my ceremony. I kept control of my emotions as long as I could, then halfway through the ceremony I dropped to my knees and sobbed like a baby mumbling " I love you Mum."
As I wept uncontrollable tears the world around wept with me in torrents of rain. The rain and my tears flowed together and into the sodden earth. back to the Mother, back to the well of all things.

This short note is not about the wonderful creatures I have encountered in the wild and beautiful place but about the mythical beasts I came across in a vision dream earlier this morning.
My Dog Boo has the worse case of hives I have ever seen, so when she groaned in the early hours I woke immediately. After stroking her head and a few calming words she drifted back off to sleep as did I.
I was a young boy again walking through a forest, when  I head a deep,  grumbling  growl coming from a dense thicket. As I Got closer a golden radiance of some scaly skin was showing through the leaves. I reach out with my hand and just as my finger tip touched the warm, dry surface, the whole forest erupted and I ran for my life out of the wood. The shadow of something huge loomed over me from above, then bang!
I am now a man riding a slithering snake across a desert, the creature stopped at each Oasis we passed. As we traveled we came across a blue dinosaur. I dismounted from the snake and got on the raptor who even though this ride was wild and crazy, was very, very exciting. He ran flat out to the edge of a cliff and stopped dead, Which sent me over his neck and catapulted me out into the vast ravine. Head over heals I tumbled until I landed once more on the snake.
"Ahhhh!" I though this is a ride I know and we continued at a steady pace, visiting oasis after oasis.
Then another Dinosaur appeared, even bigger than the last and I could not resist and abandoned the snake once more.
This time I was ready for the wild ride of this T-Rex, I hung on for much longer even though he was much bigger and stronger than the last, I really thought I had mastered him. As we reached the most baron of wastes, he slowed to a steady walk, turned his gigantic head right round to face me, Gently took a handful of my shirt and flung me me far out into the wasteland as he possibly could. With a thud I hit the ground and momentarily things went black.
I woke alone, afraid, hungry and completely lost. Then I heard it, the same deafening raw I heard as a child. I turned on my heels and ran like crazy in the other direction. The vast shadow swooped up on me, over me then landed in from of me. I stopped dead and turned my eyes to the ground, too afraid to look. It spoke.
" Follow my path, when and only when I think you are ready you may ride me too."
I rose my eyes to gaze upon a huge golden dragon. Her eyes looked into my soul and I felt clean and pure for the first time I can ever remember. As she made her way across the wasteland, I happily trotted behind, content to serve her in any way I could.
For days we traveled like this. The terrain changed from desert to green rolling hills and there upon such a hill she allowed me to climb on her back . This was no wild ride, she gracefully glided along the valleys, with a gentle roll of her body, we would climb the bank of one valley and roll down into another.
It was in one of these valleys I my vision became deeper and much more profound. I saw my sister Mandy with her son Connor in  a push chair. He was holding out his arms towards me and calling " Uncle Jeb!"
The reason this was so amazing is that Connor passed over as a small child due to complications of severe Ceribal Pausey . Here in my vision he was a happy vibrant boy. I got down from the dragon  approached  and knelt down before him.
" Uncle Jeb can I ride the dragon too?"
" Not this time Lad, but the next for sure. I will show you what it is like."
I took a note pad out and drew  the view from on the Dragons back, as I passed it over to Connor the picture came alive, 3D interactive. His face lit up as he stared deep into the picture. I looked up to my sister, she smiled and I nodded then flew away on the Dragon.
We journeyed away from the green rolling hills to snow covered peaks, where she landed and set me down. Her big green eyes took one last look at me before she plunged down the mountain and swooped away leaving me alone once more. I thought she has deserted me, I had found my place with her, the only place I had ever felt I belonged. I heard a faint crack and turned to my left to find a huge nest with three eggs inside, one of which had started to open.
And I woke from my Vision!

The Xmas rush is upon us and Tara has started getting orders coming out of her ears. I myself have become like Santa's little helper, an Elf who sits in the corner busily sowing wallets, not so much of a shaman , more of a faithful servant. We still have our wildlife encounters but there are more of a blur as we pass by in the car. I guess with orders, the store and Scanfest in Portland it will be the Holidays before we can actually just be still again.
Talking about whizzing by in the car, I have already talked about Tara's fear of deer on the road, night before last, whilst struggling with the gauntlet of patchy fog, we came across a whole herd of elk just meandering across highway 101. Tara was totally freaked out but I loved it, never being that close up before.
We turn off the highway to our track and continue the journey home at about twenty mile an hour. Just over the crooked wooden bridge as you enter the forest section , the haunting figure of an owl drives down from a tree and directs his flight in the same direction as us along the path. His feathers glow in a glorious array of woodland colors as the beam of our headlights bounce off his plumage.
He swoops down low to the ground then sharply arcs up landing on the low branch of a birch tree that hung over the track. We stop the car, dip the lights and roll down the windows, Nothing needs to be said be both just gaze in wonder as the majestic creature gazes back at us. In the dark, in the night he is king of the forest.

A day of Ice and Isolation. A crisp blanket of frost covered my woodland home and my feet crunched the ground as I made my way to say prayers in the forest. Boo darted from tree to tree chasing illusive squirrels and chip monks, who once out of dog range chattered and taunted her from the higher branches. I found a certain rune, that stood out in the over lapping branches of the trees and began my prayers. As I chanted my breath swirled and bellowed from my mouth in the cold morning of the air. The dragons breath sent my salutations on their way and disappearing into the vapors, letting all know I am here.
I had planned to do a ceremonial vision quest whilst I had peace and stillness and headed back to the house to, bath, shave and completely cleanse myself before the ritual. As I passed one of the abandoned cabins a soft hush of AAHHHHHHH! whispered from the shadows. The hairs stood on the back of my neck. I turned and faced the direction of the ghostly voice and spoke.
"I know that spirits and shades dwell here but I live here now. You will get used to me in times and yes you did spook me, Well done.." I spat on the ground to mark my territory.
The night or early morning before,( you know that 3:am time of dream visions,) I had found myself in a pub in Boston MA around the turn of the twentieth century. I was dressed in my bowler hat. waistcoat and my long coat over the top. The group of men who sat around were asking me where I was from. I had disguised my London accent with a slight Irish brogue. Knowing instinctively that I was not welcome I necked my pint of sour beer, wiped my tash with the sleeve of my coat and made my exit. I knew full well that they would follow to kick the crap out of me or worse.
Out side I had left my shillelagh ( A blackthorn club ) hidden behind some crates. I retrieved it and stood it next to the door. As the group of men pursued me, they struggled to get through the narrow doorway, I grabbed the club and struck the first three down with crushing blows to their skulls. The fourth stopped. I looked him straight in the eye and said
"I,m going nowhere I live here too, so fecking get used to it." I spat on the ground and woke from my vision.
Of course there are shades and spirits, even demons that dwell in this forest. I accept they exist and try to find a way to co-exist. If you run from them every single thing, you will always be running and besides, Odin stands beside me.

A strange weekend of good times with family, then my email getting hacked and innocent people being financially and spiritually taken advantage of. Finally, on Sunday afternoon, Tara and Shaydon, our Grandson, head back into Portland over two hours away, leaving me and the dogs alone in the wilderness. A time to stop and just be, a time of the shaman.
I left Rhemmy the pom asleep on the couch, Boo and me headed out to go sunset fishing, the long shadows of late afternoon fingered their way across the river. This is when thoughts of loneliness and isolation start to attack your spiritual mind and the"what if "scenarios of my old self come to haunt me. This is good, this is very good, now I  know the doorways are opening, visions and knowledge can be attained if you can still your mind and face your shadow.
The air began to bite at my fingers as the temperature dropped but I carried on further away from the warmth of the house and towards the jetty. I have not kept a single thing I have caught yet but I love the stillness of the river, watching the flow, the tides and just casting my float out into the current and watch it drift by. In the final rays of the sun, a Bald Eagle was illuminated, as it flew by, his call echoed in the twilight. At that moment the peace of just being came over me, and I knew this was a night to do medicine, medicine for those I love and those who have been hurt by trying to help me out.

Thanks Giving over and done, it was good to have Tara's girls come visit our new home. Early Friday morning everybody except Tara, who had been up all night, went for a walk. I have now got myself into a routine of checking on all the homes in the community on my daily hike. Once you get to the very end of the point the vegetation changes and the trees turn from Douglas Fir to Silver Birch, this is the perfect place to do my prayers and the family has come to accept that this is who I am and just leave me alone to honor the Gods.
We then walked down to the jetty and all stood and watched a Golden Eagle swooping down over the island for his next meal. With out realizing it a sudden calm and peace came over me, that I have not experienced in America before. The same stillness I feel in Glastonbury, I had finally found here in these lands, was that internal struggle over, I smiled to myself.
Later that day I went fishing off the jetty, if anyone knows me I am not the fishing type, here in my new home it feels right. Not really bothering whether I catch anything or not, just content to cast the spinner out over the mouth of the estuary and slowly wind it back in, I had a strong bite. More shocked than excited I reeled my catch in. Was it Salmon, trout ? No a mud crab. Grabbing my landing net I made secure my prize, then realized it was not quite big enough to eat, released it back over the side. One more even bigger tug on my line did get my adrenaline pumping, just as I caught a glimpse of a large crab coming up from the deep, my line broke sending my catch back to the deep.
Later that night Tara and I were driving home from Astoria, Tara saw something on the side of the road, not me for I am as blind as a bat at night. She was sure she had seen a wolf eating road kill on the bank. Then she convinced herself she had imagined it as all the close run-ins we had had with deer at night had made her jumpy, years ago she had had a really bad accident, which involved hitting a deer at night.
 Early next morning, first light, she woke me and said can you hear that. In the distance I heard a faint siren sound and explained that it was a fire truck and to prove my point I pushed the window wide open. there was no mistaking that sound, the haunting sound of a lone wolf howling down at the end of the point.
Tara jumped on the Kindle to check if there were supposed to be wolves in this location. There had been several sightings in our local area of the Pacific Grey Wolf. In my shamanic work I am always White bear but that is not my clan, on my stomach I have a tattoo that marks me as a member of the wolf clan. This solitary wolf was calling my soul, my spirit back to the pack.

Wow what a weekend from Hell, lightning, winds , sideways rain and that was just the three hour journey eachway, each day to Seattle for a festival. At the end of the first long day, Tara went to pick up the car, only to find it had been towed away, so after another hour or so of lifts and paper work she made her way back to pick me up. I must point out what a trooper my wife is, my eyesight is crap during the day but in the dark it is more of a hindrance than a help. She,Tara did nearly all the driving with me giving and hour or so's break each morning.
 Driving home, the first night, Tara slammed her breaks on just in time before we hit a herd of deer. Sunday night, nearly exactly the same thing. On our way there yesterday, I was driving to give Tara a break, the rain was horrendous and every body was driving like crazy people. There were two accidents on the freeway, one happened right beside me and a car crashed into the barrier. Then just as we were entering Tacoma about fifty yards in front a vehicle shot from the fast lane across  all four carriage ways, hit the side barrier then spun back to the center again. I held my steering avoiding debris and decided to carry on driving as I watched more chaos ensue in the rear view mirror.
Tara woke up managing to miss everything, there seemed to be a lesson somewhere, I wondered whether I should  have stopped to help but then I would have been involved in the rest of the carnage. We were already late due to the storms and would have only been later, I didn't stop so it was not my orlog.
After all these tests I had one holy experience. I was giving one rune readings to a group of women gathered at my stall, one of which was from the Dominican Republic . The reading I gave her brought tears to her eyes and Odin's guidance was surely needed. She told me after that being of African descent she had always seen the runes as a racist tool, but they way I used and described them was Godly and she felt the holiness of them. Her statement was really profound, as that is the way I always see them. It was good to show those who fear this divine tool the truth and healing they can offer.

yesterday morning, I set off for an early walk with Boo. The plan was to take my camera and take some snaps of the wildlife, but my plans and Mother Nature's did not match. I heard the Bald Eagles but could not see them. I heard the bugle of the Elk  some where off in the forest, it was then that I realized it was time to put my camera away and just connect with the environment.
I made my way to a grove of Cedar trees, the scent of the forest filled my nostrils. I took a deep breath  and looked up to the branches scanning with my eyes. There it was, the over lapping trees formed Fehu the first rune. I chanted it loudly then absorbed its energy into me, then continued to seek and repeat for the other twenty three runes. Once I had inhaled the last rune into my being, I prayed to the spirits around me.
" I see the runes, I sing the runes, I breath the runes, they are inside me, outside me all around me. I am the runes. All Father I am the runes."
I stood in the stance of Tirwaz and chanted my prayers to the ancestors of which I added a new verse honoring the land spirits of this place and thanking me allowing me to dwell in haven, forever how long that time be.
We left the house about midday to go to the store in Astoria. The track from the cabin to the main road is about three miles. Tara and I were talking about all the animals we had seen, about the Porcupine on the bridge and the Owls, the eagles and the chipmunks and that neither of us had seen the otters yet. Today was like the critters were on vacation.
Just as we reach our mailbox at the far end of the track, three large fat otters strolled leisurely across the road. I jumped out the car to take a picture with my phone but dropped it on the floor, where it separated into three separate pieces. By the time I had reassembled it the otters were in a calm pool on the other side, their heads popping out and staring in my direction. As I raised the camera phone in the view, one, two, all three disappeared under the surface. I guess it was not a day for pictures, just for messages.
The message of the otter is the not be so serious, have more FUN and PLAY. Both Tara and I realized that we have not made time for play for some time.

Finally the flu symptoms subsided a bit so I ventured outside. This was more for the dog's sake than mine as it was pretty cold this morning. I was not planning on going far, just across the path from our home is some really thick and dense, old growth conifer woodland. So ducking low under the branches I made my way within. After the first couple of yards the the maze of limbs gave way to a much higher canopy and it was easier to plan my route ahead.
I stopped and paused to connect with the energy of the forest, even though this place was dark and still, I felt welcomed and asked the forest to lead me to whatever I was meant to see. Just allowing the paths between the trees to direct my journey, I was led into a beautiful glen with white flower like mushrooms growing everywhere. I grabbed Boo by the collar and just sat in the presence of the Faerie energy and asked if I could take some of the mushrooms. A blue jay flew by and I took this as  confirmation and grabbed a small sprig of the fungi.
Back home I showed Tara my specimen. She said "Where did you get this? They are Oysters."
I replied the forest gave them to me and its not very far.
So she quickly pulled in her boots, coat and woolly hat and we set out once more. The short journey took less time than before as I knew exactly where to go. She was really excited when she gazed upon my find and set about harvesting a good amount. I explained that it is such a lovely place why would anyone leave beer cans here and I pointed the tins that were scattered.Then She explained to me that the cans are a marker for mushroom hunters so they can find their way back to this secret
place. We both thanked the forest for her bounty and made our way home.

Have been suffering with the flu last couple of days so have not really got out the house. The solitude has been good for contemplation but last night about 6pm I set up my magical things, laid out my runes, then switched off all the lights. From this sacred space I could see the heavens, with no light pollution to drown out the stars, the universe looked amazing. I picked up my drum beater and began to call in the quarters, honoring the gods with prayers. Playing a steady beat with my medicine drum I stared out into the darkness across the bay.
The spirit of a native American came to sit with me. he was dressed completely in white skins and furs and wore an elk head dress. he told me he was White Elk and took my left hand, with some charcoal her drew a circle then crossed it with a lightning bolt with an arrow head at the bottom. As I stared at the talisman my dog Boo started barking, dragging me shockingly out of my vision and crashing me back in Midgard. It can be dangerous to be snatched back like that and it took sometime for me to regain my composure.
I checked the house for what had sparked the dog off then returned to my sacred table to find the dog still whining and staring right at the place White Elk had sat. I closed the circle and thanked the spirits for me brief but amazing vision and told White Elk I would visit with him again.
I sat down on the couch with Boo and explained that we have to share this space with the Land guardians  that also live here, she tilted her head and stared back in a puzzled way.

Beginning to settle in now, been lost in the woods a couple of times. That is just spirit telling me I am new to this place and I must learn my environment. I have found a couple of really sacred places, a Cedar grove that has powerful female energies, a Faerie glen which has Fly Garic toad stools every where. My favorite place is still the back yard where I can see for miles across the inlet and where the Eagles soar above me.
This morning I saw one flying strangely, coming from behind the trees. It seemed as if this majestic bird was struggling to gain height, I thought it was wounded. As it cleared the trees I could see it was tightly clutching a struggling rabbit in its talons. I guess they are pretty much top of the food chain around here.
I searched for a new shaman stick to use in my medicine workings but could not find the right one. That night Odin came to me in vision and gifted me my new staff, not a staff but a spear. The weapon had eagle feathers hanging from just below the tip. I am to use this as my walking stick but with the point end covered in a deerskin cap. When I do ceremony it is to be unsheathed and held in my hands like Gunginir, Odin spear, to channel and direct energy. So now I am to search for the shaft which I will attach a Viking spear point to.

Yesterday was my first day back from the UK after seeing my mother, who is very poorly. My wife Tara was away in Portland so it was just me and the dogs at our new home on Willipa Bay. Three miles to the nearest road and 12 miles to the nearest store, not much to do but explore. The weather had been stormy but this day it was glorious.
Before I started out, I had made an oath to honor and respect the Native American energies that were guardians over the land where I now lived. I took out my wife's Native flute (which I had never ever played before) and Youtubed how to play. The guy explained once you have got the basic scale "just let spirit guide you." I made my way out to our back yard which over looks the bay and began to play.
At first I was missing notes and it sounded like a cat in pain, then finally I got it. A friend of mine had told me that you play the horizon, for that is the song of your place. So I followed the contours up and down along the mountain range. Finally as I finished I heard the loud cry of a Bald Eagle which swooped down low over my head, so low I could see each individual feather. This was a great blessing, the highest of spirits had welcomed me to my new home.